Remembrance

Elder Jeffrey Holland, an apostle for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, is one of my heroes. His knowledge, faith, testimony and boldness have been a huge inspiration to me, especially when I was a missionary. I remember reading a talk where he said he still thinks about his mission every single day. He has a few more years on me, but so far this has been true for me as well.

For the past few weeks, maybe even a few months, I've been struggling with memories of my mission. I keep remembering all the mistakes I made, all the things I should have done differently, or how little I understood of how to handle situations. Thoughts that began with the phrase, "Why didn't I just..." or "Why didn't I know to..." or "Didn't I realize that..." have seemed to haunt me. I was kept awake many nights just thinking of ways I could/should have done things differently, berating my 21 year old self over and over again. I knew that I worked hard and had incredible, life-changing experiences and happy and funny stories...why then were all my thoughts and feelings so negative and self-defeating? My frustration just grew the more I thought about it so I did my best to just shove it out of my mind and not think about my mission. Then about a week ago we had some new friends over for dinner. We had a blast talking and laughing and getting to know them. For some reason, every single conversation topic sparked a mission story. Everything we talked about made me think about "this one time on my mission." I never wanted to be someone who started every story like that, but I had to restrain myself from telling mission story after mission story. I told maybe one mission story that night, but had at least 6 pop into my head. The next day as I was dragging Gavin around shopping the same thing happened. Funny little mission stories that made me laugh kept popping up and Gavin got an earful. Sunday morning as I was getting ready for church another happy story came to mind. I finally noticed how often this had been occurring over the last few days and wondered what had triggered this happy deluge of mission memories. As I thought about it the scripture popped into my mind, "...the Holy Ghost...will bring all things to your remembrance." (John 14:26) I was filled with love from God and for God as I realized that the Spirit had been bringing to my mind all these happy and joyful memories, to remind me that I had served faithfully and been very blessed for it. Only Heavenly Father knew my personal struggles, and He had heard and answered the unspoken prayer of my heart. He knows that I wasn't a perfect missionary, that I had so much to learn and made lots of mistakes, but He loves me anyway and reminded me of those happy memories.

President Henry Eyring, another apostle, said this:

"The Holy Ghost brings back memories of what God has taught us. And one of the ways God teaches us is with his blessings; and so, if we choose to exercise faith, the Holy Ghost will bring God’s kindnesses to our remembrance."

This is what I experienced, and I am very grateful for Heavenly Father's kindnesses. He knows each of us personally and will bless us as we exercise faith in Him.

Click here to read the rest of Henry Eyring's words.

Here's some happy memories:

Emery's First Christmas

I'm finally getting around to posting some pictures from Christmas! We had a wonderful time with Gavin's family in Pocatello this year. Lots of good food and the company was even better! Christmas Eve we had a little "talent show" which was fun. The Girauds are quite a talented group: harmonica, violin, sign language, guitar, and some good story telling. I love Christmas time not only to celebrate Jesus Christ's birth and His life, but for the wonderful family traditions and fun times shared.

Here's some pictures of the festivities.

This post is a little late. Overdue since my last post, and the included picture is probably older than it should be for a baby that changes everyday. But, I still wanted to talk about a fond memory of a story that was told about me when I was young.

When I was three or four we had bunk beds and I slept on top. Some nights I would not go to sleep unless my dad was standing next to the bed and let me put my hand on top of his head. Even after I was asleep, when he tried to move I would wake up and force him to come back over. I was reminded of this story lately because my daughter has similar behavior. As you can see in this reenactment:

I sometimes have to keep my hand on her all night or she will not sleep at all. (the lighting was better during the day, that's why Emery is not asleep in the picture)

Some might call this arrangement "kharma" or "sweet, sweet justice." Maybe my dad would call it "serves you right." But is there actually an attentive being that consciously endeavors to balance the scales of sleep?

When I was in Japan I heard about the "800 ten thousand gods" of everything. From what I could gather, Shintoism teaches that there is a god in all things: rocks, trees, rivers. Perhaps there is a god of sleeping, and he believes in justice. When I was little I was not faithful to my father's sleep and now I have to pay the price by giving up comfortable sleep now that I am a father. Perhaps there really are gods of other things as well. I once read a letter from a pro basketball player that said he had worshiped the god of basketball by practicing for many years and had been rewarded with good play and wins by his team.

But wait! Before anyone starts going around praising and honoring the god of sleep for his just behavior among the children of men, I want to share my testimony as echoed in 1 Corinthians 8:5-6

"5 For though there be that are called gods, whether in heaven or in earth, (as there be gods many, and lords many,)

6 But to us there is but one God, the Father, of whom are all things, and we in him; and one Lord Jesus Christ, by whom are all things, and we by him."

The world contains many principles for success and many distractions, each one more seductive than the next. I am convinced that the best way, however, to ensure that we are happy with our families for eternity is to worship Jesus Christ and live His teachings.

It's been a beautiful and relatively warm winter here in Boise. I love it! A white Christmas is always nice, but you just can't beat a beautiful, sunny day in December. Emery and I have taken advantage of it by taking walks with the free stroller I found on Craigslist (woohoo!). I put her in this little snowsuit so she stays toasty warm.

Emery's starting to smile and it's the most rewarding experience when she does. I probably spend hours a day trying to win those cute little grins. Gavin has been able to get her to laugh a few times as well, which is the cutest little noise ever. She is so much fun!

Emery's Blessing

Emery was blessed in church on December 4th. Gavin gave her a beautiful blessing and I know she has a rich wonderful life ahead of her. We were blessed to have lots of family there to help Gavin bless her and to show their love. It was a great day! Emery wore the dress my mom made for me on my blessing day. It was really neat to see her in it. My mom also crocheted a beautiful white afghan for her. Here we are with Gavin's parents and Emery's great-grandparents--4 generations!

This is Emery with her Great-Grandpa Cornwall. She's even smiling for the camera! I love this picture. Is that not the cutest, chubbiest face EVER?!

I felt so blessed as I looked at all the righteous men surrounding Emery that participated in her blessing. She has some wonderful examples to look to and lots of people to love her. You're one lucky (and adorable!) little girl Emery Alice!

Bath time

Bath time has become a fun time for us. Emery's first bath was basically terrible and she screamed her head off the entire time. Subsequent baths have been much more enjoyable. Her second bath she was calm going into it, which helped, and Gavin held her in the water, which she also seemed to like better. Such a daddy's girl already. Now when we bathe her she just stares up at Gavin the whole time, it's really cute.

Here she is, getting all dressed after her bath.

Just staring at Gavin. I love to watch them together. She will smile at him and follow his voice and twist around and crane her neck to find him. She already seems to know just how lucky she is to have such a great dad!